Stop flying time.

Before you're entirely confused, just know that there is no order to these posts. I have a tangential mind, and so I will have a tangential blog. Don't try to make sense of it.

I have this diary for camp. Goals at camp: Get in shape! Laugh! Teach! Meet great people!

Later, I will come back and hopefully check each off. I only have 4 1/2 years until college ends (including my master's program). I'm already depressed. Is that weird? Not really cause soon I'll be re-reading this thinking, "Jeeze, time flies!"

Stop flying time. I'm nervous.

Let's begin in the middle.

You're obviously bored and so I welcome you to my first diary excerpt.

I can ask you not to judge, but I'd only be kidding myself. Just take it for what it's worth. I do this for the kidz. Read on fool.

(Names changed...for my own dignity)

12:22 a.m

..... So I end up here, in this state of unrest with nothing to do, as I am at my parent's new house (with no friends).

Which brings me to my next dilemma.

Calling the ex. Jay B.- the 1st boyfriend (and last). He's still in love w/ me and we claim distance broke us up b/c what was once a perfect companionship turned into an insecure wreck, but all the negatives pushed me out of love.

2 negatives become a positive,

but 2 months of negatives become a splinter, a nag, a headache,

an anchor back into singlehood...

That, as well, is my problem. So I call. Or I don't. But in a result I get ignored (which brings anger) or talked to (which brings Jay to believe I still want him---"like that").

I'm just going through the break-up post-pardon depression- I know that makes no sense, but I wrote post, and if you go back and read up until that point you'll see I really had no logical way of ending that sentence. Intermission.

You have officially wasted 3 minutes of your life on my emo-tastic blog.